How I found Brad's Birth Mother, by DeeDee Gibson
Helen, I
just read what you have written about finding Brad. What a beautiful way to put your (our) story into words. I cried my eyes out while reading this and reflecting back to 10 years ago. I am so happy that I could be a part of your reunion. This is truly something that I will never forget.
I would like to extend gratitude to Patty and Sam Cole (Brad's adoptive parents) as well, who assisted me in locating you.
Brad and I had many talks regarding his adoption. This extended from my telling him that I had been searching for my biological father and the information that I was finding. Brad had confided in me (through tears) that he had a desire to search for you, but he didn't want to cause anyone any pain. I told him I knew exactly how he felt – from my experience. I did not want to cause any pain to my biological fathers’ family. I was unsure if they even knew I existed.
Unbeknownst to Brad, a friend of mine (Samantha, but "Sam" to us) and I went to Patty and Sam Cole’s house one afternoon. Brad wasn't there because he was working.
I told the Coles that Brad and I had had conversations about his desire to find you. I was not even finished telling them a couple of things that Brad and I had discussed when Patty excused herself from the table. She came back into the kitchen with a book and a few papers. She wrote down the adoption attorney’s name and contact information from back then, as well as your “possible” name. I told Patty and Sam that I would like this to remain a secret until Brad would let me know he was "completely" ready.
After a few more talks, Brad told me he was ready to locate you. He just did not know how to go about it.
One evening a few days later, I was at Brad's apartment with my friend Sam. While Brad was fixing dinner for the three of us, I had asked him if I could check my email from his computer. After receiving his permission, I bolted upstairs to his computer. The first thing I did was put your name in Peoplefinder.com. There were none here in Indiana, so I tried the national search. Your name came up, and I started crying happy tears.
I went downstairs and got Sam, and I showed her the information. At that moment Brad walked into the room, and I hurriedly minimized the screen so that he would not know what I was up to. After he left the room and went back down to finish making dinner, I pulled up your name and address on Whitepages.com. I quickly jotted down your name on a scrap piece of paper.
Brad came back into the room and said “Hey, Dee?" I tried to quickly minimize the screen again. He walked over, laughing, and asked what I was doing. (When it came to our relationship, I was always pulling surprises out of my pocket for him, and he never knew what I was up to).
I tried to put on an innocent “nnotttthhhhiiiinnnnnnngggggg” look, but when Brad looked at Sam, it was all over.
I looked at Sam and she nodded to me as if to say, “Go ahead and tell him, Dee.” So, I sat Brad down and said, “Brad, you know the conversations we have had regarding your biological mother…” he smiled and said “Yessss”. I was so nervous then, because I was afraid that I was stepping on Brad’s toes and preventing him from taking the joy in locating you, himself.
I looked at Sam, and she nodded and smiled. So I took a breath and then said to Brad, “Well, I think I may have found her.” Brad looked shocked, and he said, “No way!!” I said… “Yes, way.” as I handed him the scrap of paper with your name, address and phone number on it. He took it from me and looked at it.
He asked “What do I do now?” with a BIG smile of approval on his face. I told him he could hold onto it for as long as he felt he needed from this point.
About a week or two (I don’t remember for sure) went by. Brad asked for my assistance in figuring out how exactly to contact you. I suggested to that I write and send you a letter, to verify that we had the correct information.
So Helen, please don’t feel any disappointment about what you did. Brad was happy with his life, yes, he just had a strong desire to fill this void. As I said earlier, I am so grateful that I was a part in helping him do just that.
I love you both and wish you nothing but happiness from 10 years ago until eternity.
Love,
~DeeDee~